Wednesday, January 15, 2014

A time of reflection


Brooke sent me a text a couple day ago that read...I am so excited about my mission papers and then another one that followed yesterday saying...got my bishop's interview! I feel so good, and more sure about serving a mission than ever. My new bishop is amazing.

I cannot begin to express the feelings I have right now.  I have always thought Brooke would be a great missionary and how much a mission would be so good for her to help her learn to really look to others and their needs and use her knowledge of Jesus Christ to help them through their trials.  But now that it is really happening and she is waiting for her final interview with the stake president, all I can say about how I feel is...wow.

Brooke has always been someone that is so strong in her beliefs.  Even when she went through a trying time in her life where she felt like her testimony was dangling and she felt alone, she never once questioned that there is a God, she just needed to find out if He really cared for her and loved her. She has always had a solid conviction that all goodness comes from God.  She immediately went forward with faith, even though she was wavering and in some thoughts I asked her to share in a laurel lesson once she spoke of God and the trials she was going through and I saw as she spoke a change surge through her, she in that moment felt of His love for her so strong that she knew at that time that He loved her so much and cared for her.  She has never faltered with that knowledge since because the Holy Ghost testified to her that what she felt and what she spoke was true.  She went from hoping to knowing.

President Joseph F. Smith teaches "...let me tell you when the Almighty reveals Himself unto man, He does it by the power of the Holy Ghost, and not through the natural eye or the natural ear. He speaks to man as if He were speaking to him independent of his body; He speaks to the spirit. Therefore, if God Almighty speaks to you and bears record of His truth by the power of the Holy Ghost, … you will know as God knows. It will not be something that you believe only; something that has been communicated to you through your natural senses, in which you may be mistaken or deceived; but it will be that which God has spoken to the heart, to the living soul, to the eternal being of man, which, like God, is indestructible and eternal.

It was in this way that Jesus opened the spiritual eye and understanding of His disciples after His resurrection, so that they knew that He was both Lord and Christ. They knew that He was risen from the dead. They knew that He was the Son of the living God, because God had revealed it to them. Therefore, they could say as the poet has said,

“O, the sweet joy this sentence gives:

I know that my Redeemer lives.” [“I Know That My Redeemer Lives,” Hymns, no. 136.]

… Who can tell the joy and the satisfaction that comes to the soul of man who has received this witness from Almighty God? No man can utter it. I cannot tell it to you. There are no words of man that can speak it. It can only be felt. It can only be understood by the immortal part of man. Unspeakable is the joy that a man feels who has received this testimony from the Holy Ghost. …"

I am still amazed with her decision to turn down a volleyball scholarship here in NH to go to BYU.  I do remember the time when she came to me so unsure of what to do and thought she would never be able to make the decision herself.  I told her this was her decision and she needed to pray about it and make it and then live her choice the best she knew how.  I also told her that I believed that if she decided to follow ALL of God's commandments that her decision would be made easier and she would be able to feel more of an asurity that what she chose was the right one.  

At the time she was involved with playing club volleyball.  This club had tournaments on Sundays and it interfered with her going to church.  She loves to play volleyball and LOVED the coach she was playing for and the girls she was playing with.  I challenged her to make the decision to NOT play club anymore and to fully follow all of God's commandments.  Then to ask God in faith which school she should go to.

She was offered a $30,000 a year scholarship to play for SNHU if she signed early admissions.  This meant she had to sign before even knowing if she made it into BYU yet.  The deadline was in November and she just kept praying harder and harder to know what to do.  One day she came to me and asked me if I had been praying to know which school she should go to.  I told her that I was.  Then she asked me which one that I thought she should go to.  Even though I love volleyball myself and that if she took the VB scholarship that meant she would be close to home and we would be able to visit her and see her play, I told her that I knew she needed to go to BYU.  She broke down in tears and just sobbed on my shoulder and said, I know I am supposed to go there too.

It was so hard for her to turn the scholarship down...all this before even knowing if she was accepted into BYU or not.  But she said that she was certain that this is what she was supposed to do and recognized that she was able to have full promptings from the spirit because she was keeping all of God's commandments.

There were experiences out here that put her in a missionary mind.  She was able to go into people's homes who are not of our faith and share with them her testimony.  She attended EFY every summer,  youth conference, girls' camp as well as all her church meetings.  Her testimony continued to grow.  She had an amazing stake young women's president that would always challenge her to serve a mission.  At first she didn't think a mission was for her.  Sister Gold gave her some advice that still helps her today.  She told her that she would never regret serving a mission, but one day she may regret not serving one.  That really touched Brooke and helped her to make the final decision to serve.

Kevin and I thought that it may be just a phase she was going through because she changes her mind about things so frequently.  But when she was at school and still talking about getting her mission papers ready we were thrilled.  It really helped that she was surrounded by other young ladies and men that were preparing their papers.  She then had her cousin Sadie call and let her know that she decided to serve a mission too.  It made her even more excited. 

What a wonderful time we live in today.  The Lord's work is hastening forward and we need to make sure that we grab hold  and hold on tight...otherwise we will be passed right by.  We need to fully engage ourselves in the work.  We need to take it seriously that we testify of Jesus Christ every day in your actions, words and deeds.  It may be uncomfortable at times, but it is the right thing to do.  

Brooke is setting such a wonderful example for our family.  She is such a strength to her younger sisters and brother. She also is such a strength to me.  I love just having her around.  She has such a powerful, energetic, fun personality that is really addictive to be around.  I know that when she laughs and speaks that she sends messages of love and friendship to those around her.  She really can make any situation a good one.  She has a confidence and an energy that I have never had myself.  I am just amazed and thrilled that she has such a conviction that Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer and she wants to teach the world to Come unto Christ and learn of Him.  He will comfort you and love you and let you now that you are a child of God.  We are promised that those who put their trust in Him He will bless and help through trials and be lifted up in the last day.  She wants everyone to know him and to love him and to learn to serve him.

I am so proud of Brooke and for her constant example of courage and strength.  I am excited to live the adventures with her...both good and bad.  I am excited to see her grow in the gospel...spiritually as well as mentally and physically.   

I cannot believe my little Brooke...the one that challenged everything that I said, corrected my choice of words, finished all of my sentences, the one that loved us completely and looked for praise and direction in all of her doings.  The one that loves life and lives it every day to the fullest, studies the words of our prophets through scriptures as well as modern day talks and articles.  One that has always loved to study and fill her mind with processes and reasoning.  One that loves her family and loves being with us...oh, my little Brooke will be teaching of Jesus Christ and helping those in need.  

These days will not all be bliss, they will be hard, and at times seem unbearable, but through her solid faith in our Savior she will get through this and it will end up being the best 18 months of her life.  She will literally see lives changed through acceptance of the message she will bring to share.  She will feel of the spirit of God so strong and powerful when she is acting with full obedience, she will in turn feed her own testimony, making it more certain and she will have a hand in changing many lives for the better.

There is a song that I think about and always touches my heart when I hear it from Wicked the musical called "For Good".

I've heard it said,
That people come into our lives
For a reason
Bringing something we must learn.
And we are lead to those
Who help us most to grow if we let them.
And we help them in return.
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you.

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun,
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better
But because I knew you.
I have been changed for good.

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime.
So, let me say before we part:
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you.
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart.
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you'll have rewritten mine
By being my friend.

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea.
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird
In a distant wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better
But because I knew you...
I have been changed for good.

These are my feelings about Brooke and also what I believe people will say after meeting with Brooke and feeling of her love.

I love you pretty girl.  I love the wonderful decision you have made and support it with all of my heart, might, mind and soul.  I know you will be blessed and watched over in everything that you do and you will move mountains in the places you will go.  You are amazing and incredible and you are my daughter.  I love you and will love you fivever...for eternity.  We will be together throughout the eternities. Thank you for being my friend and making me a better person for knowing you.

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